Letter From a Friend

I am so fortunate. I have a few really good friends who know me well and love me anyway. Here's a note Mechelle sent me the other day. I cherish it---and her. It's a response to an email I'd sent her containing a "contract" I'd drawn up in order to help me deal with some personal stuff. I thought it would help me commit on a rational level to some goals. And I wanted her to help keep me rationally accountable. But alas, she knows me better than I know myself...

Susan,

(Re:) the contract. I know you said today you don't think you can follow through. It's OK. The contract sounded like it would be hard to uphold. Reminded me of the letters you used to write to yourself about being a better wife, Christain, etc. I wish you could go easier on yourself, including not making contracts that are really hard. Love yourself, Susan, even love your longing. I love you and your longing. Love the stuff that hurts in you...

Mechelle

I think it's time to reread Letters to a Young Poet. I need to be reminded how to do the above and how to, as Rilke says, "always be beginning." I keep forgetting these things.