July 16th

Well, I'm officially a college professor now, albeit a very green one. I taught my first lit class two nights ago, and my first English comp preparation class this morning. Both went well. Who knows? Maybe teaching will prove to be a good fit for me.

Reading:
Almost finished with Kirsch's God Against the Gods. It's fascinating--about the history of monotheism vs. polytheism. So much of Western history, I'm reminded, was determined by Constantine's decision (for political reasons, mostly) to embrace Christianity. The book's also been making me think about God as a father figure. If we would stop casting God in that role, perhaps we'd stop living with the fantastic notion that we are going to be tended to. Yesterday on the [extremely-annoying-yet-appealing-to-masochistic-ex-fundies-like-me] radio show, The Bible Answer Man, the host, Hank Hanegraaff, told a woman who was upset about the tragedy in Chechnya (it was a rebroadcast) that God allows horrific suffering because he is a good father. Okay: A.) Since when do fathers refuse to protect their children? B.) What kind of father places a gazillion conditions on his love for his children? and C.) Who the hell appointed the creator of the universe a.k.a. The Ground of Being to be our FATHER in the first place? [Well, okay, so the writers of the Old Testament started the trend. Moses told Pharoah that God referred to Israel as "My firstborn son." And okay, Jesus called God, "Abba" (daddy). Nonetheless...] I think Freud was right: most of us remain retarded and fixated on parental figures our entire lives. "Suck, suck, suck," goes little Maggie Simpson.

I also started reading the Robert Boswell novel, The Geography of Desire. And I'm still nibbling away at Bataille's Erotism: Death and Sensuality. It's amazing.

Listening to:
My husband Jeff and I saw Robert Plant in concert this week. He's one of my favorite pop/rock vocalists; very bluesy and soulful--and moving toward a more "world" sound these days. Highlights for me were his cover of the Youngblood's "Darkness, Darkness" and Led Zep's "Gallows Pole." He still has it. Also listening to Damien Rice's B-Sides. The CD is a mixed bag (mostly demos and live recordings), but Damien's beautiful voice--along with his segue into French in the first song--make it worth the ten bucks I plunked down.

Watching:
My family saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory this weekend. I disliked 80% of it. (10% of the dislike I'd have to attribute to running into Johnny, a guy in my office, at the theater. But that's another story for another day.) Although I love the Roald Dahl book--and the script does maintain most of the book's integrity--I hated Tim Burton's dark interpretation of the story. I also found Willy Wonka downright creepy. (Which is a shame because Johnny Depp is usually swell in my book.) My kids hated the film, too. Sam said it was the worst movie he's ever seen--which makes it pretty bad, considering Sam has seen The Pokeman Movie two or three times.

Feeling:
Excited about life but also rather lost--like a little girl wandering aroud a department store after being separated from her mother. In fact, I've had two dreams in a row in which my mom is accompanying me somewhere, helping me do something. I rarely ever dream about her, so I'm wondering if it has to do with my current sense of displacement. I know it does. The Summer of My Displacement: perhaps a good title for a cheesy novel.